English: McDonalds' sign in Harlem.

English: McDonalds’ sign in Harlem. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Lets talk calories, or discuss what I think is  the health fanatics’ Waterloo? Because however, careful one is you get defeated.  I consider constant eating/drinking of calorie-rich substances  my mea culpa.

Lets talk about all the other  fun things in the world. Surely not boring calories? Who are they? Celebrities in little cereal boxes? Remember Salt and Peppa ‘s ‘Lets Talk abouts sex’. Instead we could replace the abominable 3-letter word with ‘calories’- ‘Hot to trot, make any man’s eyes pop’. Yeh, calories do. If one consumes too many. They also make the GP’s eyes pop.

What really are these Calories.? Dictionaries claim they are units of energy. A French dude apparently discovered them many years ago. No matter how many times you try and read, remember, decipher,translate or try and sudoku the little numbers on the box; do you really bloody believe them? Is there Government Food agencies out there that really microscopically measure these calorie amounts. And even if they claimed to be, why would we believe that it is true anyway. Didnt Benjamin Disraeli, a former Prime Minister claim that ‘There are three kinds of lies: ‘lies, damned lies, and statistics‘. Calorie counts for me are in the same class. If  Government agencies can lie about almost everything, why would we want to trust calorie counters? Who monitors them? Who really cares a jot what they get up to?

I will never claim to have the ins and outs on the science of food, but surely if food were meant to be natural would we really need to count how many calories are in say five grains of rice? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? Did Eve ask how many calories were secretly stored in that Apple? Or did any one bother to ask how many calories the wine and bread contained at the Last Supper? Well, you could also ask about the starters, main meal and the dessert at the Last supper? And if one were padentic, you could stretch that to the fish and bread fed to the thousands. Surely too many calories would have been too bad for the health. Why are we so worried about the food we eat today? Is it poisonous? What doesnt kill you is meant to make you stronger. Are calories killers? In that case Human Rights legislation would suggest they are removed from the food chain.

Who really cares? Or should we care? I dont see anyone giving nutritional advice to the guys facing the death chamber/injection in America. Surely if there is an after-life, one would not want to be starting on the other side, with a body fully-laden with enough fat to power an Oldsmobile! Surely American governments would want to avoid that embarassment. Greatest power, and all on this planet/life.

Why do we so complicate life? Lets live life the way its meant to be. Life is good. Love it. Enjoy it.